I can hear the wind blow

We are going on a trip today, Jeff and I. That is, if our plane ever takes off. I am practicing my mobile blogging skills as we wait for something or other to be cleared so we can take off. We are headed to Cambridge, MA. You see, Jeff was accepted into Harvard Business School! He will be studying for his MBA. We will be moving our little family of five to Boston in the fall. We are going over to Harvard for Admitted Student Weekend to get the low down and check out some housing. I am beyond excited for this first glimpse into our future. And oh yeah, it's HARVARD! The history alone makes me swoon. Not too mention the fact that an episode of Gilmore Girls was filmed there. Add all this in with the fact that it is a trip with the hubs, all alone ... Oh baby. ( or rather, no baby)

I sure will miss these little faces though. Be good, you three.

ere go

Lars, the professor.

these days

larlos and the ballerilla
(i often find her where he is)

recently, when the girls ask me for/to do/about something for the twenty thousandth time in a day (noiamnotexaggerating) I started doing this thing where I talk in the lowest voice I can muster and say "MOMMY'S NOT HERE. I AM MR. MOMMY." it sends them in to a fit of giggles and it keeps me from losing my mind by adding a bit of silliness to my day. it is gross and obnoxious, but we like it anyway. 

and then there were five.

this post is crazy overdue. 


I had a baby. a baby boy. nearly four weeks ago. and lemmetellyah. having three kids may be is the hardest transition of my life thus far. hence it taking me four weeks to find a spare moment to announce his arrival. we are taking it one day hour around here. 


lars reed stock barreled his way into the world at 6:30 am december 7th weighing in at 9lbs 9oz. it was a long afternoon, evening, night, early morning of laboring and with no aid of medical pain management, I felt all 9lbs 9oz of this boy. it was hard and frightening and what felt like to me, the valley of the shadow of death. 


but then. 


but then they put him on my chest. and I again felt that wave of overwhelming love. and the veil was thin. and my heart was as warm as his little angel soft body. and I had a son. a son! and oh, it felt like it was always meant to be. and he looked like his father. and it is heaven on earth, as literal as I can mean. 


he is well loved, and the brightest spot in all this adjustment. 




:: the name ::


lars is jeff's great great grandfather on his father's side. he was from denmark. 


reed is my maiden name, and this is me naming him after all my brothers, and my father. men I so love and admire. when I found out he was a boy, it hit home with me that my girls would have a brother. and having such wonderful brothers myself, I was just so excited for them. 


and stock, of course, as his last name. his father's name. a good name. 

and unto them

radio silence

petra's first drawing of our soon to be family. (see little brother on the left?) and wet december leaves.

 we are waiting. waiting waiting for baby brother to arrive. 

technically, I am not due until tomorrow. but I had myself completely convinced that he was coming early. thanksgiving weekend, absolutely. I chalked it up to mother's intuition. he was coming. thanksgiving weekend came and went. no baby. then monday, tuesday at the latest. no baby. it is now friday and well, apparently I have terrible instinct when it comes to this stuff. I have been preparing. I have cleaned the house top to bottom twice in seven days. I have been doing several mini loads of laundry so that it will all be done when the baby comes. ready for any moment. I haven't left dishes in the sink. I have been following the kids around picking up after them so we are always in the ready. all the while I have been having sporadic contractions, and an assortment of other pains and symptoms, of which I will spare you the details. but nothing sticks. 

I am exhausted. mentally, physically. really, I have been preparing for months. thinking and planning for months. and it is starting to catch up with me. 

but mostly, I am so ready to see his face. to smell his head. to put my finger in his tiny hand and recognize his movements in my arms as the ones from my belly. to give him a name and share him with my family. 

come on out little son. 

(today would be good, since you would share your uncle clark's birthday. that would be pretty cool, right? right?? I'm in, if you are.)

not in pig latin

something about the end of a pregnancy makes me daydream about new pretty things.  I make-believe a future where I can pull off any look I please, simply because I am no longer pregnant. 


and I wear things like


this


or these, in coral


or these*, in whiskey


or this, in tobacco 


and maybe, just maybe, even this


and these too.  


also, if I could just have zooey deschanel's entire wardrobe in "new girl" that would be lovely. 




*this link isn't working correctly. heels and wedges, second row, fourth over. second to none.