Friday, August 29, 2014

three decades

hey chels!

it is your biiiirthday. hey-o. big plans. big big plans today. pizza with the family because you, you are wild and crazy. you might even let the kids pick out their own dessert. what? calm down. you are a grown up now!

so, another year, another move. last year you had no idea where you were going to be on this birthday, and after a lot of thinking and exploring and praying, here we are. where is here? beautiful fort collins, colorado. and it is good. the people are good. the town is good. but the best part is your home. your home! you bought a home, never getting to visit it in person before you bought it. but it turned out just fine. more than fine. this home is perfect for where we are right now. it has a view of the distant front range mountains from your back window. the excellent elementary school is just a short walk from your door. go the other way and a Holy Temple is being built.  you have dreamed of owning your own home for so long. it is finally the time. you got to paint your walls white (a dream!) and now they sit waiting to be filled with the warmth of things you love. (no pressure?) you can't wait to show it too your family and welcome visitors. the best part of the location is it is a doable destination for your immediate family. you have missed them all these years and the idea that you could host them comfortably is a dream realized. they are such great company, and you are thrilled at the idea of returning some of the hospitality they have extended you over the years. you will do very well here. yes. very well indeed.

as much as you like where you have landed. it is hard not to shake the feeling that it could all be short lived. another move could be just around the corner. but as far as you can tell, you are here for the foreseeable future. so try not to think about it. your time in boston taught you to make the most of your time wherever you are. there are things to be learned in every culture,  every part of the country, every way of life. you think here it will be friendliness. fort collins is incredibly friendly. almost shockingly friendly. rilla fits right in.

you miss boston. you miss harvard business school. you just do. you miss those brick buildings and running along the charles. the east coast has a charm and feeling of belonging to an exclusive club. you have been having dreams of harvard square and downtown boston. sometimes as you drift off, instead of stepping off curbs, you are walking around campus. before you left you took many slow walks staring at your surroundings just to cement it in your mind. you are glad you did because you can picture the details with great fondness. it was a blessing of an experience. it changed you. your world view grew so much. you realized that good people value you. and you value those good people. oh, the friends you made. dear, good, people that you miss seeing on the daily. you will never let these friends go. they are important to you and you cant't wait to see what they do with their lives! what a great time it was and you will always be grateful for it.

speaking of friends, you got some good ones. the older you get, the more you can appreciate the women your childhood friends have become. these ladies are something else. strong, capable, hilarious, caring women. bah. thinking of them makes you teary, you big baby. what hard things they have all survived. more than survived. overcome. conquered. you love them so. plus they make the BEST dirty jokes, so, yah.

now let's talk about the number. thirty. you are thirty years old. you are thirty. years. old. ten years ago you were taking classes at mesa community college, working at pete's fish and chips, and hanging out with friends and jeff stock, not yet knowing that he was the one. so much has changed since then, mostly for the better. you are thirty years old with a husband you are in love with, three children you are also in love with, and a home. over all you are all happy and healthy. take that blessing in for a second. in this snapshot of time, all is well. all is well. life is never perfect, but this is pretty close. what an amazing birthday gift. (but seriously fool, appreciate it.)

how are you? still figuring things out, but getting more comfortable with the fact that you will probably never have it all figured out. you have long blonde hair, plenty of curves (like boomerangs or homing pigeons, they always find their way back) and the start of some wrinkles. so that is pretty cool, you guess. so maybe you've lost yourself a little bit too, though. you still don't really read any more, or write much. oops. keep trying to find that. study your religion more. it surrounds you, it is the reason for your truest happiness. shouldn't you make it your mission to know more? another benefit of boston was meeting passionate people of all religions. their passion inspired you. don't lose that momentum. on an unrelated note, you are also greatly looking forward to your favorite time of year, the fall premieres of all your favorite shows, and the new ones! of all the great things about this year, the very best just might be the tv with dvr in your bedroom that you can watch from your new king sized bed. sweet, sweet television time. by the way, you should probably eat more vegetables? just a thought maybe.

stay cool, kid.

xoxo,
chels

and now a medley of selfies for your viewing pleasure!

"nothing says class like trash"

*untitled*

"i don't care if you are birthday selfie-ing, read me a dang story."

"what am I even doing right now?"