radio silence

petra's first drawing of our soon to be family. (see little brother on the left?) and wet december leaves.

 we are waiting. waiting waiting for baby brother to arrive. 

technically, I am not due until tomorrow. but I had myself completely convinced that he was coming early. thanksgiving weekend, absolutely. I chalked it up to mother's intuition. he was coming. thanksgiving weekend came and went. no baby. then monday, tuesday at the latest. no baby. it is now friday and well, apparently I have terrible instinct when it comes to this stuff. I have been preparing. I have cleaned the house top to bottom twice in seven days. I have been doing several mini loads of laundry so that it will all be done when the baby comes. ready for any moment. I haven't left dishes in the sink. I have been following the kids around picking up after them so we are always in the ready. all the while I have been having sporadic contractions, and an assortment of other pains and symptoms, of which I will spare you the details. but nothing sticks. 

I am exhausted. mentally, physically. really, I have been preparing for months. thinking and planning for months. and it is starting to catch up with me. 

but mostly, I am so ready to see his face. to smell his head. to put my finger in his tiny hand and recognize his movements in my arms as the ones from my belly. to give him a name and share him with my family. 

come on out little son. 

(today would be good, since you would share your uncle clark's birthday. that would be pretty cool, right? right?? I'm in, if you are.)