31

dear chelsea,

well shoot. has it been a year already? you are now 31. this birthday doesn't feel very big. I guess 30 feels big and then 31 is just ... 31. plus, as a grown up your birthdays are not that exciting. you asked for a clean house for your birthday and the family cleaning bath tubs and vacuuming together well, that will be quite satisfying actually. not very exciting, but satisfying. happy birthday to you!

you have been in fort collins for a year now, and you really like it here. you like your house, your neighborhood, your ward, the kids school ... all of it. you have easy access to target, costco and you recently got access to walmart grocery delivery which saved your summer. like, saved it. taking three kids to walmart once a week last summer was rough stuff. maybe that stuff seems petty but convenience is important to you and we have accepted that. we like to think that means you work smarter rather than harder but it probably just means you are a little lazy. oh well. living in fort collins we can take drives into the mountains and walks around the neighborhood in the cooler evenings. it is a beautiful and easy place to live and when it comes to raising your kids here you are quite happy with this place.

those kids of yours are something else. with the start of another school year suddenly they look so much older. they are learning so much it is difficult to keep up. they each have their "things" you worry and watch over. but they often surprise you with how capable they can be. oh, how you love them. it is a tricky balance, learning when to step in and when to step away. motherhood is thousands of small letting-gos and hundreds of little bonds built. and apologies. you hope your apologies make up for the missteps along the way because there have and will be many.

you aren't alone. your husband is here with you and he never let's you fall. he is a great dad and you guys make a good team. you are very grateful to have a partner in this parenting thing. it is a blessing you sometimes take for granted. making a life together, well, that is pretty romantic. someone who sees you at your most human and still smiles at you? that is the stuff, man. he also makes you laugh daily and the adage to marry your best friend is really some of the best advice out there. it is helpful that he is oh so very handsome. oh boy, is he attractive. it is a little annoying, how he gets better with age while you feel susceptible to the doubts that come with being a woman who is getting older. what is that about anyway? you know better, but somehow, sometimes, all the things you *should* be gets to you. maybe that will never change. maybe you will never appreciate fully who you are in the moment until it's passed. let's just appreciate thirty-one year old chelsea for who she is because people seem to like her okay and so should you. deal? deal.

here is to another year. may it be simple and happy and boring.

sincerely yours,
chelsea. r. stock